I’ve compiled a list of a few of my favorite moments at the public library.

  • A very tall man at the back of the library burst out singing “Imagine” by John Lennon and continued until he reached the exit at the front of the library. By the time he was halfway to the exit, everybody in the library was singing along. His swagger was unrivaled.
  • An employee picked up a small abandoned coin purse. On her way to taking it to lost and found, a little girl screamed, “THAT LADY STOLE MY PURSE!”
  • A lady removed an exploded poop diaper from a backpack. She then proceeded to pull her library books out of the same backpack. The books did not go back on the shelf.
  • While looking up Bluford High books at a catalog computer, a young boy, about twelve, spontaneously busted into a seriously intense pelvic thrust dance. The library was silent.
  • On two separate occasions, shirts were lifted up to show me tattoos. One was a heart around a bellybutton.
  • When I asked a woman if she wanted to pay her forty-cent fine, she demanded to know why I wouldn’t want her to pay her fine. I told her I didn’t care whether she paid her fine or not. Flabbergasted, she told me to stop trying to take advantage of her.
  • An elderly man whipped out a digital camera and snapped a picture of me. I don’t want to know.
  • The “King of Africa” yelled that I was the only one allowed in his country.

The library is a magical place. Next time you’re in need of some free entertainment, grab a bag of popcorn, settle in at your *local public library, and wait for the fireworks. 😉

*Not all public libraries are created equal. Public libraries may be substituted for other public locations and/or your local Walmart.

KB

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